Looking up

Yesterday I was offered the job and I took it. I am putting in my notice today. It's a beginning, I still have a lot of work to do to get my life in order, but at least I am on my way. The change will do me good. I am starting to feel better about myself, although I am having to work very hard at everything to maintain a positive stance. Getting off working nights was my main motivation for the determined search, and well, sometimes you just take what's available until other things take flight.

I started meditating and conversing with my guides and the masters again and did a little channeled writing. I never really stopped talking with them, but I used to write a lot more. It helped get me through the week of waiting for the phone call and I was able to focus on issues in the world consciousness once more. So I am working hard at being me again. It never used to be work, life flowed better a few years ago. There are a lot of people I know that are going through the same thing; getting fed up with the status quo is very motivating. It is time for some major improvement.

Progress

The frustration mounted to an unenduring pitch this past week. The lack of sleep became chronic. I was almost in tears. So, last Friday I pulled myself together and pushed myself to go out and apply to some places in person, not just online. I have never had trouble finding jobs in the past and have been really perplexed that I have not found another job despite the effort of the last couple of years. I have an interview on Thursday. I aim to get the job, and then keep looking for something that is more fulfilling. Right now I am simply motivated to get myself off the night thing. I realize that I may have to work 2 jobs, but I am sure that I will work something out.

I am still trying to figure out what to do with my degree. This is the biggest frustration for me. I didn't go through all of that schooling to still be working in low paying jobs. But with budget cuts and lack of contracts, the industry has bee hurting, hardly any field work. So, what am I to do? I know a PhD that has been having trouble finding work. So I am trying to think of more creative solutions to my dilemma.

Those creative solutions primarily revolve around my artwork. I need to start inputting some time and energy into the more meaningful aspects of my life. I know that once I do enough of it that my life will open up and things will flow better. Focus has been a big problem for me the last couple of years, despite all of my training to the contrary. Heck, I used to teach that in my meditation classes. No job is worth what I feel I am putting myself through just to make some money. There are plenty of other fish in the sea and I will find what I need for survival until I generate the things that will allow me to thrive more than ever. Right now getting off the night job is my main motivation. I have an interview on Thursday, pray for me.

I feel like I am putting myself back together again. I started sketching out some ideas for a painting the other day. I haven't done that for awhile. I want to take my artwork to new levels, new places, but I got stalled out in early 2010 just after doing the seagull pastel and starting a painting from a picture that I took in Utah. I simply need to do more.